I’ll get to Jose Altuve, however, rattling, the Astros have been like, “Oh, yeah, Rangers, you’re going to problem us for the division? That’s what you’re going to do?” Imply’s whereas, Mariners are like, “Hey, what about us?” Okay, now the lede: Jose Altuve did what? Three homers in three innings? Ending with: 3-for-5, and his thirteenth, 14th, and fifteenth homer, which he hit within the 1st, 2nd and third inning. Mark Whiten should’ve been sweating! I do know that is about fantasy, however he’s a primary poll Corridor of Famer. I’m not a denier of the Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang Scandal. I’m not an ostrich. However cmon. Has he been dishonest yearly of his profession? Superb, wanna dock him one yr for dishonest? Do no matter you need, however he’s a Corridor of Famer. I’m not simply saying this as a result of we’re the identical peak. Superb! It’s that motive! Us Quick Kings get one man each 20 years, allow us to have Altuve! Anyway, right here’s what else I noticed yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Martin Maldonado – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his twelfth and thirteenth homer. Okay, possibly the Astros are nonetheless dishonest.
Yordan Alvarez – 3-for-6, 2 RBIs and his twenty fourth homer. To Woo do I owe the pleasure!
Nathan Eovaldi – 1 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 2.95, as he was activated from the IL. Whew, glad I wasn’t in a position to activate him, and was solely in a position to get into my lineup, Dane Dunning (5 1/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 3.82). Rattling Dunning!
Anthony Rizzo – Shut down for the remainder of the season. I used to be considering the opposite day, whereas enjoying Immaculate Grid, how brief some man’s careers are looking back, and Rizzo’s profession went *snap fingers* Not saying he’s completed completed, however gamers’ careers finish so quick. I do know Rizzo had an unlucky head damage, and I hope he’s okay, however, yeah, simply so quick. Sounding nostalgic over right here!
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his twenty second homer, hitting .205. That was his four-hundredth homer. He hit 400 homers quicker than anybody else. Not in much less video games. He simply hits actually quick homers.
DJ LeMahieu – 1-for-4 and his fifteenth homer. He had a pleasant August, had been chilly to begin September, however DJ’s sitting in entrance of Decide in a lineup the place they’re simply throwing the ball over the plate to try to run out the clock on the season.
Ceddanne Rafaela – 3-for-6, 2 runs as he hit leadoff. *places hand underneath chin* Inform me extra.
Kutter Crawford – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.36. Shut down all pitchers and let’s end this sucker with place gamers pitching!
Rene Pinto – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his third homer, and 2nd homer in as many video games. Pinto is the magical fruit, which can be a schmotato.
Brandon Lowe – 1-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 18th homer, as he dashed all Kenley Jansen (0 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 3.43) homeowners of a save, which isn’t very good as a result of I would like all of the saves I can get.
Seiya Suzuki – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his sixteenth homer, and 2nd homer in as many video games, and a triple wanting the cycle. Rattling, he’s gonna make it tempting once more subsequent yr, isn’t he? Fudge! Solely I didn’t say fudge.
J.D. Davis – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his sixteenth homer. Additionally, on this sport, LaMonte Wade Jr. (1-for-3) hit his 14th, and Carl’s Jr. Jr. (1-for-3) hit his thirteenth. Simply an eff why hoo, the ball was completely flying throughout the majors yesterday. Like everybody had the Decide 2022 ball.
Wilmer Flores – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his twenty first homer, hitting .288. Simply needed to level out all of these Giants hitters within the earlier blurb who homered? They’re nowhere close to having the yr of Wilmer Flores.
Brandon Pfaadt – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 6.27. Why is it the rookie pitchers that I choose up suck, and those that I don’t Andrew Abbott? I need an Andrew Abbott!
Tyler Kinley – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 6.75 and his 2nd save. Seems like Bud Black’s settled on a more in-depth. Simply wanted to seek out the man with a near-7 ERA.
Chris Bassitt – 8 IP, 7 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.69. Nice begin vs. the A’s, no matter. I want to ask: What on earth occurred to Alek Manoah? Has he simply disappeared?
Francisco Lindor – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his twenty sixth homer. He ends the yr with 30 homers and hitting .260, and he’s gonna be a discount subsequent yr with individuals considering he had a down yr.
Brandon Nimmo – 3-for-5, 3 runs and his twenty first and twenty second homer. Nimmo discovered two!
Pete Alonso – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his forty second homer. Albombso!
Francisco Alvarez – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (22) and legs (1). Was trying on the 30-day Participant Rater, earlier than Alvarez’s homer, and, wow, he had been horrible.
Jose Quintana – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.00. Don’t make me draft you in each league as my sixth starter subsequent yr. Don’t try this to me!
Jordan Walker – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his fifteenth homer, now 4 homers within the final six days. Yeah, he’s going to be a bust. Certain, man. Good name, Straw Man!
Nolan Gorman – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his twenty fifth and twenty sixth homer. No lie, I believed he was out for the yr. * his sport log* Too dangerous he hasn’t been out since July.
Tyler O’Neill – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his ninth homer. I like O’Neill nonetheless — O’Nonetheless? — however I simply checked out his profession stats, and he’s averaging roughly 12 homers per yr for six years.
Miles Mikolas – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.63. When you began Mikolas in Atlanta, how do you get your pants on? I do know not like everybody else. Don’t lie.
Ryan Helsley – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.00, and kinda used as a more in-depth may. Sorta. I feel the writing’s on the wall. Bye bye, JoJo! Gallegos? Adios, amigos! Helsley is your new Playing cards’ nearer, hells yeah.
Mike Soroka – 3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 6.40, as he was recalled. Hey, one love, however I didn’t like Soroka when he was truly pitching nicely.
Austin Riley – 1-for-4 and his thirty third homer. Additionally, on this sport, Matt Olson (1-for-4) hit his forty fifth in honor of our forty fifth and finest president (I’m kidding, I don’t care); Marcell Ozuna (1-for-5) hit his thirty third homer and Ozzie Albies (2-for-5) hit his twenty ninth homer. That is gonna be the Braves’ playoffs in the event that they don’t determine a starter or three.
Josh Bell – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his twentieth homer. For whom the Bell tolls!
Bryan De La Cruz – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer. Briefly forgot what field rating I used to be and stated to myself, “Sure, De La Cruz! Let’s go, Elly–Oh, crap.”
Jake Burger – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his thirty first homer, hitting .244. This may sound loopy, however Burger trying tasty for subsequent yr.
Jesus Luzardo – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.59. He passes the attention take a look at and the “ his stats” take a look at. He’s gonna be an ace subsequent yr if he stays wholesome.
Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 3-for-4, and a slam (15) and legs (19), hitting .256. I get it, he’s been struggling, however they’re hitting him seventh to allow them to get Jesus Sanchez at cleanup? Cmon. Let’s be much less dumb.
Clayton Kershaw – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners (5 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 2.61. He’s not proper. Perhaps shoulder prolly is barking, I don’t know. That command tells me he’s harm.
Bo Naylor – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and a slam (8) and legs (2). He’s been no Mitch Garver (nobody is), however on the 7-day Participant Rater, he’s been holding his personal.
Tanner Bibee – 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 3.05. Undecided what the Streamonator saying for his subsequent begin, however don’t assume we will belief him anymore.
Brady Singer – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.34, as he returned from the paternity checklist. Depart the crap at house within the diapers, Singer!
Michael Massey – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his eleventh homer. Additionally, on this sport, MJ Melendez (2-for-3, 2 RBIs) hit his 14th homer. Michael Jordan and Massey sounds to me like MJ at mass watching his son marrying Pippen’s ex, and I’m howling. So awkward!
Nelson Velazquez – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his eleventh homer. That’s in 35 video games. Cust kayin’.
Dylan Stop – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.98. Gonna spend some time this offseason attempting to determine why Stop is broke, and certain gonna come away with the reply: Due to the White Sox.
Yoan Moncada – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his sixth homer. Not too late for him to go 40/40!
Andrew Vaughn – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 18h homer. Each time he homers it has the identical impact as somebody nudging me whereas I’m sleeping. Extra like Andrew Valium.
Gregory Santos – 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 3.32, and the blown save. When you’re chasing saves by chasing White Sox saves, nicely, hashtag you will have my prayers.
Teoscar Hernandez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his twenty fifth homer. Within the lineup, he’s received Canzone defending him. Canzone of the Lucchesi Crime Household.
Julio Rodriguez – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his twenty sixth and twenty seventh homer. JRod or Corbin Carroll in 2024? Oh, I agree, JRod. It wasn’t that clear a month in the past.
Bryce Miller – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.83. Wouldn’t had began him in Cincy, however, then once more, I’d’ve began Brady Singer, so *Lisa Simpson grumble*
Christian Encarnacion-Strand – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his sixth homer. It’s a bit of bit humorous how Dumb Bell performs CES each sport with out fail, and doesn’t even try this with Bader and Renfroe, who they only attained, presumably as a result of they needed them.
Noelvi Marte – 3-for-3, 2 runs and his 1st homer. It’s the first Noel!
Brandon Woodruff – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.30. All offseason gonna be imagining what my groups would’ve appeared like if I had Woodruff for 200 IP.
Andre Jackson – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.21. I’m sorry (for those who began), Mr. Jackson. I’m for actual.
Fernando Tatis Jr. – 1-for-2, 2 runs and his twenty third homer, and 2nd homer in as many video games. Enjoyable The Jewels! Enjoyable The Jewels quick!
Pedro Avila – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners (6 BBs), 1 Okay, ERA at 2.19. A starter with 5 profession video games began, holding a harmful Phillies offense to nothing, whereas permitting six walks and recording just one strikeout, appears like 2023 pitching in a nutshell.
Trea Turner – Positioned on paternity checklist. Hey, I ain’t telling guys methods to do an impregnation however, man, you gotta line up the missus to offer start whilst you’re in a chilly streak, and never while you’re sizzling in the midst of a H2H playoff week. Although, I need to admit, it’s so freakin’ humorous that Trea Turner went on paternity go away precisely 9 months after he signed that massive cope with the Phils on December fifth.
Reid Detmers – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.89. Streamonator appreciated this one, likes his subsequent and I’m wondering if it is aware of he alternates 10 ER drubbings with no hitters. Is that out there information for AI?
Shohei Ohtani – Nonetheless out with an indirect damage. This isn’t fantasy baseball associated, but it surely’s so superb it must be talked about. The Angels had their group photograph yesterday, and Ohtani, I assume, was with the group physician or one thing, and slightly than ready, oh, I don’t know, an hour? They went forward with the group photograph with a stunt double. Yeah, Ohtani is so gone from this group subsequent yr:
There he’s, the best baseball participant ever, Shohei Ohtani pic.twitter.com/ImWCMZMoHo
— Razzball (@Razzball) September 6, 2023
